Sunday, August 7, 2011

distance makes the heart wonder...and wander...

been back in new york city for three weeks now and my life has changed tremendously in this short period of time. in between looking for a room to rent, i squatted illegally at a friend's abandoned apartment as she moved and her landlord ran away declaring bankruptcy. no gas and no hot water, this was a most shady and bizarre living experience. but because of this vulnerable situation, something or rather someone came into my life. 

ian came over three days after i came back and lived through one week in the squatter with me and meeting him only the second time since we met, it was a randomly unexpected fast romance that sprouted between us but also one that i wished it last. there was nothing as comfortable as watching a movie with him or sharing a whiskey and just a hug or a kiss. simple but satisfying and makes me feel that that is all i ever need..him.

could not bear the thought of him leaving, i booked a ticket and made my way to super hot Arizona, a place that i never ever thought of going. did not step out of the gate for four days and i was still happy, happy to wait for him to come home in his green uniform, happy to snuggle to sleep. 

now we are back to reality. miles apart from each other, 12 hour time difference, i found it really hard to keep up with the talking and skyping. only been ten days and i am feeling the toll of missing him terribly, of not being to touch him only to see him on my 14 inch screen or just flipping the pictures we have or half videos that i took of him. even though i know it is a short time before i see ian again, time seems to be lagging so slowly that it is killing me slowly in its own time. 

it is uncertain what my or our future might be. the only certain thing i know for sure is that on christmas day this year, i will be kissing my prince charming under 15 mistletoes which we hope our love lasts for 15 lifetimes.